Contents Under Pressure

My life is a marathon, I started out running, and someone came along, handed me a large rock, and said, "Okay, now you have to carry this for the rest of the race." So, I kept on going, my arm would get tired, and I would switch the rock to the other arm, eventually, I felt both arms were strong enough to keep carrying the weight. Then, they came to me, handed me a rock twice the size of the first, and said, "Alright, now you have to carry this rock for the rest of the race." The rock was twice as heavy as the first and I had to cradle it under my arm as I ran, but I kept going. Then they came to me with a small boulder and said, "Okay, now this boulder is quite a bit heavier than the last. We will provide you with a running partner who will help you. You can carry the weight together, and it will make you both stronger if you stick together. You can do this!" They mounted it on my shoulders, and I was almost stopped dead in my tracks. It was so heavy, it really slowed me down, but I kept going, my partner and I, only at a slower pace for a while. After some time, I felt my legs get stronger, my back could bear the weight, and I picked up my pace. We were doing pretty well. Then they came to us and said, "Sorry to do this to you, but you will have to carry a new boulder, but you've gotten so strong, we know you can do it! We will be right here beside you, like always, to help you back up if you fall, and of course, we will keep cheering you on." Then they rolled an enormous boulder (the size of a man) out and mounted it on our shoulders. The weight was crushing, and I was sure it would finish me. How could I run the rest of the race with this thing on my back? But they said I could do it, so I was determined to keep going, even if it was at a snail's pace. We had gone barely a few steps when they stopped us and said, "Wait! We forgot to add something." And they strapped another boulder of the same size on top of the other one! We both fell to the ground under the weight. They helped us back up to our feet and said, "Emily, Jeremy look at how far you have come. You began with just one rock, and you've never given up. If you can carry this weight for the rest of the race, you will become a true Titan, and nothing will be able to stop you from claiming your prize. Just keep on going!" And so, here we are.

The boulders are not our children; the boulders are autism. The weight is more than we ever imagined it would be. Some days, we take a few steps forward, but we fall down a lot, and need a lot of help. These recent days have been some of the harder ones, but we both know they will pass and even if we take only one step each day, it's something. Even if we fall, as long as we get back up, we are still going. Our "coaches" (Our Heavenly Father, our Savior, Jesus Christ, and our families) watch over us, encourage us, and sometimes help us carry the weight. We don't know when the Marathon will end and there are times (like now) where one of us (Jeremy) has to take a little extra weight while the other has an injured foot. (That would be me, no joke. I have a heel spur, among other health issues that make doing my part, incredibly difficult, if not impossible most days.) Someday Jeremy and I will finish this race, and our prize is eternal glory. We will throw those boulders off our backs and stand tall and strong. Who knows, before the end of the race, maybe we will have enough strength to help someone else bear the weight too.

My favorite band is Safetysuit. They come from TN, and I found them by accident really, but their music is very good, and they have a song called "These Times" which I listen to on hard days. (Watch the video. It will give you goose bumps.) They remind me that times get hard; life is hard for everyone, but time passes and the hard times with it.