What's FUN about Autism?

We have been faced with quite a few challenges in our life and it just seems as if they keep on coming. But, I don't want to focus this post on the challenges; I want to just go over a few of the special joys that our family gets to experience because our children are autistic.

·         We have been blessed with the opportunity to learn about this disorder and to teach others about it and help spread awareness. The month of April is Autism Awareness month, (FYI) so you might be hearing more from us next month!

 

·         Our family has grown closer. Not just our little family, but there is something so special about these boys, that EVERYONE in our family (including ALL of our extended family) has come together to love them (you just can't help but love them).

 

·         We have become part of a community (I would go so far as to call it a culture) of people who are experiencing the same up's and down's that we do. Every child with Autism is different, but there are quite a few behaviors that we see in a lot of our children, to different degrees, but we understand each other and we know we aren't alone in our struggles. The CDC just released the newest statistics for Autism and 1 in 68 children in the US is affected by ASD (Autism Spectrum Disorder). Those numbers are staggering! But, they are going up because we're more aware and we are catching those cases that would have gone undiagnosed. That's a GOOD thing. Everyone has opinions on whether ASD will ever be able to be cured. Personally, I don't believe it can. I believe the best thing that research can do is focus on treatment options, and how to help the families affected to cope with the challenges. This includes awareness and COMPASSION from society in general.

 

·         Every person on earth is an individual. Each with our own unique personality, so what makes a child with autism UNIQUE when everyone is in essence unique. The amazing thing about our children is in the way they view the world and how they experience life. Because of their ASD, they don't experience a sunny day the same way a neurotypical person would. They see the details we don't, they feel things we wouldn't and they come up with solutions to problems in a unique way. Before Autism was well known, many people who were believed to be eccentrics, but geniuses, were probably autistic. (Albert Einstein, Nicola Tesla, Mozart, Issac Newton, Michalangelo) These special people benefit our world in ways we can't imagine; we just have to LET them!

 

·         Our boys have a special sense of humor because of the way they see things or interpret them (I'm still trying to figure it out), but they are FUNNY! Not a day goes by that Jeremy or I don't catch ONE of the boys doing something funny (even if the other one is having a bad day). Braden can talk and he can tell us jokes and he says some of the funniest things sometimes that we're amazed by him and his point of view. Jackson can't talk, but he is an imitator and he will mimic his favorite movie characters. Both he and Braden LOVE music and especially movie credits with music. Sometimes I think they enjoy the credits as much or more than they enjoy the movie. Both of them will start dancing around and smiling like crazy when the credits to their favorite movies come on. It really is a sight to see and Jeremy and I have tried to video tape them, but they have some kind of instinct that tells them there is a camera pointed at them, at which point they immediately stop what they're doing. (except Braden, he loves to be videotaped and is quite a camera hog!)

 

·         I'm going to take just a minute to brag about how darn CUTE my boys are! It has nothing to do with their autism, but I swear, when you look at them, you can just see that there is something special inside of them. They both have beautiful blue eyes and Jackson's eyes are so big and blue that we literally can't go out in public without someone saying something about his beautiful eyes. They do all the talking for him.

And now, for the funnest parts! I've compiled a small sample of some of the funny things Jeremy or I have posted on facebook when Braden has said something we just had to share with the world. Unfortunately, Jackson's funny stuff would all have to be pictures because he doesn't talk, but I'll post a couple, though there are MANY of him and his funny ways! The point of this post is that Autism isn't ALL about the challenges, it's about the blessings too.

BRADEN:

So, Braden likes to walk around the house and talk to himself. He doesn't care who's listening, and he does both sides of the conversation and even does voice imitations. Sometimes we hear him repeating things he's heard in tv or movies and sometimes he "replays" things that happen at school (doing perfect imitations of his teachers), but apparently he will also pretend things. He was just walking around talking and I hear, "Hi! Welcome to Chinese Noodles! What would you like to order?" to which he responds, (in a different tone of voice) "I would like three orders of Chinese noodles please!" If you can't tell, noodles are his favorite when we get Chinese.

Braden: Mom, are we going somewhere for dinner?

Me: No.

Braden: But, I'm keeping my socks on, so we have to go out somewhere for dinner, because I have my socks on.

Braden is standing at the window yelling hysterically at the sun to go away, because he doesn't want the snow to melt.

We are drive to a local shopping center and Braden says out of the blue "I want to go to Bojinglebells". For those not from the East what he meant was Bojangles

We're driving in the car and Braden yells "Oh my gosh!" so we say "what?" and Braden says "there are lots of trees in north Carolina!" we had to laugh out loud at that one. We've lived here for three years and he's just now noticing we are surrounded by trees.

Driving by a cotton field; Braden calls it a "smarshmallow" field

Braden is really into Harry potter right now. What's funny: he says Harry's name with a British accent. (a pretty good one too!)

Braden: I have a loose tooth!
Jeremy: wiggle it.
Braden: shakes his head back and forth.

Just drove by the Verizon store and Braden yells "check mark phones!"

Braden's playing x-box the other day and Daddy says: "What are you doing Braden?" and Braden answers: "Wasting my time." CLASSIC!

Braden made up his own name for one of his transformers: instead of megatron it's MEGATROUBLE! I think that should be his new nickname!

Jeremy just tried waking Braden up from a nap before he was ready to get up. Braden's response: I'm out of control, so just get out of my way!

Mom: Braden what season is Christmas in?
Braden: I don't know.
Mom: When is Christmas?
Braden: Tuesday the 18th (no hesitation)

We were in the car and Braden says: "Mom, when I grow up and live in my own house with a cat, I'm going to have to go to the car store and buy a truck."

JACKSON:

Jackson is serious about cupcakes

 



 

Jackson loves shopping

 

 

Jackson's solution to holding his bottle when his arms get tired

 

 

Jackson ALWAYS likes sticking his tongue out

 

 

Jackson just being cute

 

 

Jackson likes to look at the world upside-down. Braden (who likes hanging around the house in his underwear) thought he would give it a try

 

 

Jackson loves playing with glasses (and breaking them) He also loves stealing any food Braden leaves within his reach, chocolate pudding for example.

 

 

I love kids in pajamas and I have tons of pictures of the boys in christmas jammies, halloween jammies, any kind of jammies will do, they're just cute when they're together!

 

 

My two sweet boys in their Sunday best

 

 

Braden rubs Jackson's head the way I rub their heads when they cuddle with me. This is probably one of my favorite pictures of them together, even though you can't see their faces.

 

 

Look at these two boys and I DARE you to tell me there isn't something amazing about them! You can see it in their eyes, they have special souls and Jeremy and I have been blessed with the responsibility of seeing that they are given the opportunity to share their uniqueness with the world.

Who Moved My Cheese?

I've said before in my posts that I struggle with Anxiety disorder. Well, let me tell you what happens when someone like me becomes stressed or over anxious. Many people have heard of panic attacks and many probably have seen a movie (or cartoon) where someone is panicking and someone else shoves a paper bag over their mouth for them to breathe into. They make it almost comical, but to those of us who actually suffer from these attacks it's no joke. It's humiliating and makes us feel weak and out of control. You are in your body, but you can't control what it's doing and a person telling you to "calm down" doesn't do a darn thing. I don't blame them though, they just don't understand what you're experiencing and they want to help.

 A week or two ago (I'm not sure, time is a blur when you're stressed) I was coming down with the flu and I had a fever and some unexplainable back pain. That's how it started. I didn't CHOOSE to have a panic attack, I just did. I ended up spending the day in the ER, trying to get control of my body. Let me give you a rundown of what it feels like. You start to feel like you can't breathe so you try to take deep breaths and you breathe faster and faster, but you quickly realize, you're having a panic attack, but by now, you're on the panic attack train and no amount of telling yourself to "calm down" helps. You have to ride that train until it stops and even though you know what's happening and you want to stop it, you can't seem to get it under control. You're not at the wheel anymore; you're just a passenger. You feel like you can't breathe, so your breaths become short and fast. Your limbs begin to go numb and tingle as if they're asleep and it's painful. Then your muscles begin to cramp, all of them, not just a few of them, all 642 of the muscles in your body go into overdrive (including your mouth, so doctors asking you questions at this point is just plain dumb). Imagine getting a Charlie horse all over your whole body…it's painful and makes you panic even more. Even with the help of drugs, it was difficult and when it was over, I was embarrassed and felt like an idiot because I felt that I should be able to control my own body. It gave me some good insight into how my kids must feel on a daily basis.

People with Autism thrive on routines, predictability and stability. Who wouldn't? We live in a world where change is inevitable though, and for people with autism (or mothers with anxiety disorder) change is the scariest thing on earth. If you're wondering about the title of this blog post, it's the title of a book about how to deal with life's inevitable changes. It's easier for some people than others. My husband for example, seems to handle it without a problem. He doesn't understand why I get so upset when one of my favorite restaurants changes their menu or the recipe of one of my "go-to" dishes. I think my own issues gives me the ability to fully understand what is going to upset my kids, even if there is nothing I can do to stop the change from happening, at least I can understand their feelings about it.

We have a lot of change happening in our life this coming year. We'll be moving a few times, we've been in the process of packing things up, selling our home and purging (this is serious stuff for my kids), and it's exhibited in misbehavior, which is no fun for us as parents. But these changes are ones that we are hoping will ultimately lead to that wonderful, bliss of routine, predictability and stability in the long run. When we finally get to that point, I have no doubt that we will enjoy life much more. It won't be challenge free, but hopefully better. But I know there is always someone (God or mankind) who's going to "move our cheese" at some point, so I just have to do my best to roll with it, like my awesome husband does. He's been an amazing example to me and I wish that I were more like him in many ways, but I also know that his life would just be WAY too BORING without my eccentricities. J And we both know that our lives wouldn't be right without our boys (just the way they are). There is a saying that is very well known in the autism community and it's even becoming known out there in the world of "normal" people. Our boys have autism, that makes them DIFFERENT, NOT LESS.

 

When Life Hands You Lemons…Stick ‘Em in Your Bra!

I love to go on pinterest, browse through all the DIY projects and see how people can make benches out of doors and old beds or lampshades out of toilet paper rolls. When people get creative they can make something beautiful, fun or at the very least, interesting out of ANYTHING. Usually it’s something that was rundown, beat up, or thrown out. All they had to do was give it a little love, creativity, elbow grease and walla! It goes from crap to craft! Even the ‘pinstrocities’ are awesome because even though they’re epic fails, they’re entertaining and you learn from them. Everyone works in different mediums whether it’s stone, clay, broken glass, red solo cups, pumpkins, license plates, letters on a page and even toilet paper rolls. There is someone out there who can take these things and makes them into something beautiful or interesting. If only life were so simple, right.

Life is full of ugliness, challenges and seemingly useless toilet paper rolls that we don’t know what to do with them; there’s no avoiding it, no matter who you are. Rich, poor, famous and obscure, no one can avoid it. Sometimes these things in our lives are within ourselves and sometimes it’s outside of our control, but still affects us. I’ve learned in my own life to take that challenge and by putting a little love, creativity and elbow grease into it, it can become something beautiful (or at least less ugly). Raw, natural diamonds are not the pretty polished stones sticking out of the mine wall you recall from Snow White, but you get a skilled jeweler working on it and they know exactly how to make that stone look amazing. Even though the stone still has flaws within it, the jeweler has been able to give that particular stone just the right cut to bring out its best qualities to make the stone sparkle and shine. Everything in our world goes through a refining process, whether it’s done by man or by nature, the fact is, we are all being crafted into something different than we were to start out with.

You know that saying “When life hands you lemons, make lemonade.” Well, I always loved the Crabby Road cartoon where Maxine says, “When life hands you lemons…tuck ‘em in your bra…couldn’t hurt.” I get what they mean by that saying but you have to have SUGAR and water to make lemonade otherwise that lemonade would be super gross. We are the ones that have to provide the sugar, it can be hard to find sometimes when you’re buried in lemons but if you look hard enough, you can find it. For me:

J  It’s hanging out with my oddball family that makes me laugh (It’s a Davis thing; most people don’t get it but that’s okay.)

J  Watching Psych

J  When my boys have sweet moments with me

J  A date with my husband

J  Reading – scriptures, classic literature, fiction, non-fiction…any good book.

J  Dr. Pepper with Sonic ice.

J  A trip to the bookstore…alone…for as long as I want

J  Writing a great scene for my book or a great blog post

J  Playing with my boys and making them giggle

J  Time to take a nap or a shower long enough to get my legs shaved

J  A good friend who checks in on me out of the blue (and doesn’t mind that I’m still in my pajamas at 3:00pm)

J  Someone who will just listen to me ramble (I get very little adult interaction, so I go a little nuts when I get around grown-ups.)

J  Most of all, the sweetest sugar in my life is my knowledge that my Heavenly Father is not letting lemons rain down on me for nothing.

He refines the earth in the same way he refines us and for the same reasons, to make us into something more beautiful (if we let him). Beaches are sandy because they endure the constant barrage of the ocean waves; the amazing Grand Canyon was cut by a patient river and we are not much different. He sees to it that we get the most out of our short life on this beautiful earth he’s created. He knows what he’s doing and we have to trust him. If everything were easy, there would never be any sense of accomplishment. Hiking to the top of a mountain peak gives you a much more rewarding view (and better perspective) than walking up a small hill. Sometimes the most rewarding things in life are the things we’ve had to work the hardest for and sacrifice the most of ourselves for.

Lately, I’ve been given buckets of lemons and toilet paper rolls. I keep thinking to myself, I can’t handle ONE more thing but that’s about the time I get a phone call with just that. So if I’m not picking up my phone when you call, now you know why. I keep trying to see what beautiful thing I can make out of all these lemons and toilet paper rolls because what else am I going to do with them? I’ve spent a lot of my time looking for more sugar to make this lemonade a little sweeter. The funny thing is, I think I’ve figured it out while writing this blog post. I have a lot more sugar for my lemonade than I thought I did, so raise a glass with me and toast to life’s challenges; may they continue making me into something better than I was before!

And now, for the toilet paper rolls…J