Tuesday, December 3, 2013

Moving Across the Country

Jeremy got a job offer from a company in Raleigh, North Carolina. I had not even remembered that North Carolina was a state until the day he called me and said "Honey, I applied for a job in North Carolina." My response was, "Um…okay?" I immediately had to get on the computer to figure out where the heck NC was and then I realized it was about as far away as I could get from Arizona and my entire family. I stopped to pray about the decision and had another one of those moments where God talks directly to you (I'm beginning to realize those moments aren't quite as rare as I thought). The answer was "Yes, go to North Carolina." I didn't question it from that point and trusted that God knew what he was doing. Jeremy got the job, and was set to start working in March of 2010. Unfortunately, that would be leaving me alone in Arizona for about a month to pack the house, and get everything ready to move, while still keeping up Braden's busy therapy schedule… TIME OUT: I have to take a minute to give some major props to my sweet sister Sarah who basically moved in with me for that month to help out with Braden and help me get the house packed. Let me tell you, I can be…shall we say, particular (okay, I'm  a control freak if you haven't figured that out by now) about how I pack stuff. But, she put up with me and I supplied her (and myself) with daily trips to sonic and our favorite wings from Venezia (I miss those) and we somehow survived!

Saying Goodbye to our families was hard, but I had no idea at the time how much I would end up missing them. We had never lived more than twenty miles from them before. I was excited to get out of the desert and live somewhere that actually has seasons, and real trees. I had planned everything out; the move, getting Braden into school, contacted the state to find out about the process of applying for therapy services, and I knew it would all go exactly as I planned. How is it that I have still not learned that things never go as planned?

Moving went like this: Jeremy and I in our car with Braden and our puppy, Bella, followed by a very large rented truck driven by Jeremy's brother, Brian. I'm pretty sure three days of the trip were spent driving through Texas. We had to stop about every three hours to change diapers, and let Bella do her business and clean up any mess she had made in the meantime. Thankfully, Braden loves being in the car, but we discovered on our trip that he also loves staying at hotels. Note that I did not say sleeping at hotels. I'm not sure any of us (including poor little Bella, who had to stay in the car because the hotel didn't allow pets) got much sleep. Braden's vocabulary was pretty basic, but he recognized shapes and had names for his favorite places; Wal-mart = Star, Target = Circle and now, Holiday Inn Express = Square. Every time we would drive by one he would say he wanted to sleep at "Square" it took us a minute to figure that one out until we actually looked at the logo of the hotel. We finally made it after about four days I think. Several people from our new ward showed up to help get us moved in. It was all fun and exciting until we were settled and life began again.

I was completely in awe of the beauty of NC and all of the trees! There are so many trees and there is so much green during spring and summer that it actually took me a few weeks to get used to seeing it. I loved it! I still love the beauty of it. We would spend hours driving around aimlessly through the countryside. It's a good thing we invested in a GPS system though, because you can't find anything without one. There are no straight roads, and the trees are lovely, but they block everything from view, so even with GPS you don't know you're there till you've almost passed your destination. It was just amazing to us. I was so used to the straight square grid set up of Mesa, that I wondered why they had set up a city without a straight road in it (seriously, I'm not exaggerating). We had lots of fun exploring the area and especially knowing we were only about a two-hour drive from the beach, but it was time to get Braden into school.

Thank goodness I came here with a diagnosis and a confirmation diagnosis, and a complete history of his services (I was anal about keeping documentation on everything and this time, it really paid off). I showed up at the school district offices with my gigantic binder full of documentation on Braden's medical, and therapy history. They made copies of what they needed and thankfully we didn't have to go through more evaluations when we got here. (I had grown to hate evaluations because we had done SO many.) The other blessing was that I already had an IEP in place (and a copy of it) for him, so they had to take that and use it. At this point I realized that ALL STATES ARE NOT EQUAL in their treatment of children with disabilities such as autism. I thought I had done enough research, but I really, really didn't do enough. The school districts here are done by county, not by city and the county we moved into is ginormous! (I've come to learn that's not a good thing.) Getting him into school wasn't extremely difficult, but the thing that completely blew me away was how they handled the transportation of special needs children. When I asked how it worked they said "Oh he'll ride in a cab." (I pictured a yellow cab) and the thought of just tossing Braden (barely four-years old) into the back and hoping he made it to school. I asked for clarification on that one. They said that they hire "transportation companies" who hire drivers (I'm guessing they get minimum wage) who drive SUV's and transport several special needs children to their school. I was not really comforted by their explanation, but it was better than the thought of throwing my child into the back of a yellow cab.

So, time came for Braden to start school. I took him on his first day and I met his teacher for the first time. She seemed nice enough. He was in what was called a "Cross Categorical" class They called it CCK for short (I have no idea what the K stands for). Cross categorical means that Braden would be with all sorts of disabled children, not just children with autism. There were children with Downs Syndrome and children who had severe learning disabilities. I wasn't allowed to ask about the other children's disabilities because of HIPPA. Braden's school was about 7 miles away from our apartment where we decided to stay until we could settle on where we wanted to buy a house. The day before he was supposed to start school, I got phone calls from his two drivers (he would have a different one picking him up and bringing him home). I warned both drivers that Braden liked to get out of his seat and roam the car sometimes, so they would have to keep an eye on him. They didn't seem worried. He would be in a car seat, so I assume they thought he wouldn't be able to get out of that. They clearly underestimated him. Things seemed to be going ok at first. His teacher sent home daily notes letting me know how Braden's day was and I had not had any complaints from the drivers. My issue was that they didn't always show up at the same time, so I had no idea when to have him ready or when to start worrying that he wasn't home yet. I was trusting these people with my whole universe and if something happened to him…

I got a phone call from Braden's teacher one day. She said that Braden was fine, but they had to file a report with the police because of behavior she observed from his driver. This is what I was told had happened. Braden had apparently gotten out of his car seat and made his way into the back of the SUV without the driver noticing, though it was beyond my comprehension how that happened. In the back of the SUV, Braden discovered a can of car wax and immediately opened it and went to town. He got it all over the car and all over himself. I'm just grateful he didn't eat it. When the "Cab" made it to school and the driver got out to get the children out he realized what Braden had done. With the teacher standing there, he proceeded to grab Braden by the arms forcefully and yell at him in his face telling him he was stupid and no wonder his parents had so much trouble with him. His teacher intervened and removed Braden from the cab, and took him inside and directly to the principal's office where they called the transportation company and informed them they would not allow that driver to pick up any more of their students (this doesn't mean he wouldn't be transporting other students to other schools). They then called the police to file a report. When she told me all this, I was shocked and ticked off as any parent would be. I immediately called the transportation company to demand his termination. He should not have been transporting ANY students, period. They basically told me they would do their own internal audit of the incident and his behavior; he was never fired. I began driving Braden to and from school myself after that incident.

I had no idea that my troubles were only beginning.

No comments:

Post a Comment